I cringe every time I see this.

Okay. So, I apologize for not blogging in nearly a month. Since graduation I've been insanely busy and usually work three 14 hour days each week now. Still, I will try to update as much a possible.
Anyway, have you ever seen this commercial? You probably have considering I see it every time I watch TV. And every time I do see, it manages to piss me off for whatever reason.  It's just stupid.  I know, expert analysis, right? But honestly, who wants to watch a kid swinging a bat and getting no results for 20 seconds?  Not only is it not very entertaining or appealing to the common consumer, you can switch out any car logo on the front of the pinata and have it be a commercial for that brand of car. I get that it's supposed to be a clever way to show safety or reliability, but what actual features of the car supports that? We don't know because they never show the actual car or any upgraded features that make it safer and more reliable.

I've never seen a Comcast commercial that I like.

Especially the ones from this Xfinity campaign. Whenever they come on TV, I have to mute it or I'll go insane. Like those terrible, terrible Old Navy commercials that utilize jingles (rather poorly I might add) to sell their product, this commercial almost makes me hate music as much as their products. And again, like the Old Navy commercials, the song is not catchy and the lyrics are not very clever ("It's fun for you, it's fun for me, you'll love the net you get with Xfinity"). Really, it's fun for me? Because I'm pretty sure Comcast has one of the worst reputations for customer service among big businesses. But in a lot of areas, there is no other option for cable. So I guess that's fun for them.

Apple much?

The white background, the (not-so) friendly comparisons, and even the kind of music in the background.  When your main competitor is the Apple iPad, why would you pretty much copy the same advertising as Apple?  Yeah, I understand that this was some great advertising that Apple developed, but that should never mean you should base yours off of it unless you're completely satirizing it.  Can we see some originality please?

Ugh.

PETA ads are almost as bad as American Apparel Ads and the two other brands I compared them to.  Sure, sex sells.  We get it.  You open up a magazine and see a page with woman's naked ass and you'll be attracted to look closer at it.  It's human nature.  But that does not mean that sex should replace creativity in advertising because at that point it just becomes alienation.  After all, let's face it, there is nothing sexy about not eating meat.  You can try to make your far fetched connections, but there's really not.  So, now the strategy here is basically just to sell out at any cost as long as it catches the eye of sex-starved America.  It's a real shame that this is what advertising is coming to.  Someone please give me a job so I can start making a difference.  Please?

No respect for anyone who wears Old Navy.

Why would anyone want to be associated with THIS brand image?  Especially if you're a straight male.  This guy looks like a gay theater performer from New York, not someone that your male audience would like to emulate.  I understand, this particular spot is targeted to women, but at the same time that shouldn't detract from your male audience that will likely see this also.  Not only that, but I find this entire commercial to be pretty unappealing to the general public.  The song is not catchy.  Everything is way too childlike.  And the lyrics are simply horrible. (i.e. "You're gonna light that ATM line. That glitter make me twitter. You so fine).  I mean, honestly?  If I was sitting in on the meeting that this was pitched in, it would take all my willpower to hold back from hysterically laughing.  Ads like these make me want to break into the business even more.  Just so that I can write better ads and stop ones like these from being circulated.

Sorry, Ads of the World, but I think this is garbage.

In advertising, they teach you to write to the customers' emotions.  But when try to make the main benefit of the product look like it's something that you cannot live without, when in reality you clearly can, your emotional efforts become obvious and the integrity of the ad is not very respectable.  Okay, so the main benefit is how fuel efficient this larger-than-midsize vehicle is.  So, does that mean that your life will be this way if you don't own a Honda Jazz?  NO.  Not at all.  And I can't stand when advertisers try to make their products seem that way.

Hey, Bing. Everyone is already loyal to Google. So, stop wasting your money on advertising.

On TERRIBLE advertising, that is.  Other than the supermarket one, this is the worst commercial I've seen in this whole campaign.  I mean, I get the concept: sometimes you can't find what you're looking for right away on a search engine so you're forced to read everything about anything relevant to what you're searching for, and then your mind gets lost in all the somewhat relevant, but also rather unneeded information.  And that concept is a decent one.  But the execution of these ads is so bad that sometimes you don't understand it at all, and therefore don't want to use Bing.  Not only that, but these commercials fail to really show how it is that much better and more useful that its competition (Google).  Everyone is already so loyal and used to Google, so an alternative really has to stick out with major beneficial differences.  These commercials not only fail to do so, but also have become a bit of an annoyance to see over and over on TV.

UGH. More terrible concepts and execution.

Let's be realistic here.  So you walk into your house and notice that everything you own has been stolen.  Would you honestly be that calm as you walk around and investigate?  And then when you come across something that they didn't steal, would your first thought be, "Hmm, maybe it's time for a new one?"  Coming from someone whose house was robbed when they were 9 years old, this would NOT be the first thought and the owners would NEVER be this calm.  But not only the concept, the execution sounds so commercial and unrealistic that it really makes what they're selling unappealing.  And I swear, you almost see the guy smirk when he comes across the computer.  Stuff like this just simply cannot be taken seriously.

You're really letting me down, Apple.

Anyone who knows me well knows I have somewhat of an Apple bias, but I really can't stand this commercial.  The concept itself is a good one because the App store is amazing and the things an iPhone can do are pretty remarkable.  However, the execution of the copy is horrible in my opinion.  It's almost reached the point that it is condescending and that asyou're seen as lesser for not sending a lot of money on Apple technology.  Though, my biggest issue with the commercial is the last line.  "Yup, if you don't have an iPhone... well... you don't have an iPhone."  Honestly?  That's the tagline that they're going to end you with?  Well let me be the first one to say it, I TOTALLY want to buy from you after you make me feel inferior for not already doing so.  I simply can't believe Apple actually paid someone for that line.

Other than AXE and Abercrombie, there are few things worse than American Apparel ads.

C'mon, honestly? What are the creative director's reasoning when he pitched this? "Well, we all know sex sells so we just threw up a picture of a cute girl with her ass hanging out, a headline that simply says 'Hello,' and a list of store locations as the body copy."  And it almost makes me hate advertising to know that he and his team got paid millions to make this crap.  This is the same exact problem I have with Abercromie & Fitch, Calvin Klein, Dolce & Gabbana, and so on: a clothing brand that is promoting themselves by displaying a lack of clothing and an overall sexual ostentation.  It's almost like they're selling how great it feels to take off your clothes after you buy them.  Other than senseless sex appeals, I don't really know what they're going for, but, like I've said before, I don't get it.  And I really really hate it.

Are we endorsing stalkers here?

I'm sorry, I just don't really think its ethical to recommend a phone based on its ability to stalk the personal life of someone you're menacingly obsessed with.  Sure, we all might be guilty of our fair share of Facebook creeping, but should we be boasting about it?  Or, better yet, selling a product based on the ability to do so?  I see what they're going for, but I would kinda feel like a stalker after buying this.  I mean, the features are all cool and it comes at a great price, but this commercial almost displays the benefits of the product in a pretty negative light.  Unless, of course, stalking is in now.

I'm surprised that the Bengals DON'T want to trade him after this.

Please comment with as many oral sex jokes as you can come up with.  There's just so much to be said here that I don't even know where to begin.  Carson Palmer is not only an overpaid, overrated professional athlete, but also a complete sell out.  Sure, you're getting paid.  But you're really willing to circulate a picture of you putting a sausage, that is advertised to be longer than most, into your mouth?  It's amazing how some people are willing to sacrifice their reputation for a little bit more money.  Outside of the embarrassment of this endorsement, John Morrell as a company has the most stereotypically awful advertising.  To really see this in action, check out the Carson Palmer endorsed John Morrell commercial.  It's equally as horrible or an ad, and just as embarrassing as any bad celebrity endorsement out there. Go enjoy.

Damn it, Kia.

When I was watching the dunk contest, I was like, "Oh, nice shameless product placement there, Kia." But I never thought they would stoop so low to make a terrible commercial that doesn't show the benefits of the product out of it. Well, I guess I underestimated the lack of creativity that they have as a brand. I MEAN, C'MON. Who is really going to want to buy a Kia after seeing the same clip that they've already seen 20 times on ESPN of Blake Griffin dunking over one? If you're not going to sell the benefits of the product, you should at least sell a lifestyle associated with the product. This commercial does neither of those things. Oh, and the copy is also super creative and original... I really hope the writer got paid millions for that.
Here's another Kia commercial that I hate.

Sure, I would love to risk a coma or DEATH by taking this.

I don't mean to be ignorant or insensitive to people with bipolar depression here, but would you honestly want to try this drug after seeing this commercial?  Think of it this way- the commercial is 1 minute and 31 seconds long, the risks or side effects begin to be read off at the :21 second mark, and they end at the 1:19 second mark. After figuring out some quick mathematics, that is 58 seconds of listing risks of taking this drug and 64% of the entire commercial! At this point it is hardly even an advertisement for the product as it is a warning to the general public about this product. Also, outside of that fact, the copy of the commercial barely even describes the benefit of taking the drug. All we know after seeing this it that it "may" help you deal with your bipolar depression. Yet, considering how they're accounted for more in the commercial than the benefits, the risks "may" also become more of a reality when you take this. Oh yeah, and those risks include coma or death. But you depressed people should definitely try it... C'MON.
Here's another commercial like this that I hated.

Way to steal the worst concept ever made.

First, let's refer back to the robbery victim. Same exact concept, right? And I don't even know if it deserves to be called a "concept." It's simply a hot celebrity modeling the shoes with zero copy or art direction to show any benefit of the product. It really just embodies the phrase, "sex sells," and I absolutely hate that. It's like creatives don't even need to be creative anymore. "Oh, yeah. Just throw up a  picture of a hot babe, a celebrity babe would be a plus, up there and add in the product and the logo somewhere, and there you go - perfect print." REALLY?! Not only is it making creatives like myself look bad, but its also making our society look like unintelligent sex fiends. Personally, I think we deserve more respect than that. But then again, there are plenty of people that buy into this. And that is what I aspire in my future endeavors in advertising.

Delightfully horrible.

You have to admit, this song is super catchy and is also pretty well written. But with that said, I still don't think it is very good advertising. I only feel this way because it positions the brand to look so childish and cheap that I don't think I would ever trust it. When you're advertising for something like higher education, you should probably make it more about the quality and positive impact of higher education, and how it can change your life. Not, on the other hand, by making it super fun and easy because then it just sounds like you'll be getting crappy education that won't make you very much money. Sure, it might actually be a great service that offers some great opportunities, but this commercial did not make me want to look into it.

Great way to spend $5 million, Kia.

My guess is they're headed to bankruptcy after this garbage. Wasting $5 million for ONE media buy of THIS commercial during the Super Bowl? Honestly?! And that doesn't even include the thousands of dollars that went into the production of this. C'mon, imagine reading this commercial written out and seeing it pitched to a full board room. "So.. let's have a cop drive the car, and then have what seems to be a terrorist pull it off the road with a helicopter contraption, then drop it into the ocean to which Poseidon will form from the water and grab it from the air. AND THEN, it will be abducted by a UFO, driven through some unknown land by aliens, stop at this animation that's supposed to symbolize a kind of black hole to which it gets sucks into and lands in ancient Egypt on the other side. AND THEN... best part... the screen will fade to white and say 'One epic ride.'" If I was in this board meeting where it was pitched and was even able to reach this point in the pitch, I would get up and punch the writer in the face for having wasted his breath and my time. I'm sorry if that makes me sound like a violent person, but there's nothing I hate more than awful, pointless advertisements that don't sell a single benefit that differentiates the product from another similar one (AKA any car). Especially when they spend 100 times as much money than I'll probably ever see in my entire life for it to play once during the Super Bowl.

The advertising for McDonald's makes me hate McDonald's even more.

First of all, tell me one benefit they're selling here. Good customer service? HA! Have you ever been to a McDonald's in North Philly? You'll definitely not be able to pull off a stunt like that at those McDonald's. Other that Exxon Mobile, McDonald's is probably the most corrupt company worldwide. Not only do they sell the most nutritionally invaluable and disgusting food out there, but they sell to our emotions (not to mention the emotions of young children). That is exactly what the commercial is based around: selling the "I'm lovin' it" tagline as if their food makes you happy. Again, HA! It's all just inane, fabricated marketing tactics to sell something that's hardly how it is. And the worst part- people actually buy into this crap and keep them going. Damn you, McDonald's. The world would be such a better place without you.

Damn it, AXE. I really wish you were a smarter, more creative brand.

A thank you goes out to copyranter for providing this ad for me to borrow. He also added how the pink O should be on top of the blue X to show the "AXE effect" like I'm guessing they're attempting to do. I completely agree with him and it makes me hate this even more. Overall, this ad is one of the worst print ads I have ever seen.  The layout is lackluster and uninteresting. The concept is simply atrocious and not understandable unless you're very familiar with AXE's advertising. But even then, it's a big stretch. They're simply trying WAY too hard to illustrate the "AXE effect" without showing girls hanging all over guys, like they usually do. Really though, what association can you make between cheap cologne and tic-tac-toe? Can't think of one that truly makes sense and would sell the AXE strategy well? Yeah... didn't think so.

Please disregard the fact that I'm white and let me rant about how awful this is.

First of all, the worst kinds of ads are the ones that blatantly sound like ads. In this 15-second spot, the word "meet," a word that is in the website title, is said 6 times. So, basically they're saying, "use, use, use our website," as much as they can in 15 seconds. Second of all, is this really convincing anyone to use the service? Look at how low budget it looks. And listen to the writing... "meet exciting black people who want to meet other exciting black people." Really?? That is the one line you're using to sell this website in this little mini-commercial? C'mon. Theoretically, if I was a black single, I'm sure after seeing this commercial I'd think to myself, "Well, I'm an exciting black person, and I would love to meet other people like me... Where's my computer?" NOT. If anyone is actually convinced by this advertising, I'm sure that these people that use it are not the most exciting people you could want to meet.